I just left a visit with a good friend of mine and my mind is spinning.  I love our talks because she offers such unique perspective and it allows for deep and thought-provoking conversations.  If you don't have a friend like that in your life, find one!

Anyway, I left there with a question:
 

How much would our birth culture change if we stopped blaming women?

"Oh, you had a tear during delivery?  It must have been your diet." 

"Oh, you had a postpartum hemorrhage?  You probably weren't taking quality prenatal vitamins and your diet was probably not good enough."

"Oh, you're experiencing postpartum depression?  You must be eating too many refined sugars, not getting enough sunlight and you need to try essential oils."

"Oh, you're struggling to breastfeed?  You must not be committed enough to make it happen."
 

Look- sometimes shit happens.

Vaginas tear, uteri bleed, postpartum depression happens and sometimes breastfeeding is hard.

There's no need to cast blame.
 

Why should a women walk away from her birth feeling like she failed??  

Life isn't perfect.  Birth isn't perfect.  

What is a "perfect birth", anyway?

Why do we put such crazy pressure on ourselves??

Ladies, be kind with yourselves.  Seek out care providers that educate you and lift you up.  Surround yourselves with people that love you.
 

Your spirit matters.

Your birth matters.