To the love of my life,

Our perspectives are so much different when it comes to birth. It makes me chuckle actually. Maybe I’m wearing rose colored glasses, but for me, whether I’m the one birthing or supporting someone else birthing, it’s a beautiful thing. Beautiful in the way that any act of nature is; unpredictable, awe inspiring, and sometimes a bit terrifying. For you, it’s a gross but necessary part of life. You describe watching me give birth as “scary and traumatic and interesting and beautiful all at the same time”. In conversations we’ve had over the years you’ve told me that the hardest part for you is really, that you love me so much and it’s hard to watch and feel like you can’t help.

I want you to know, that you are always doing something, you’re always making a difference. Yes, the pains of childbirth are intense and can even be excruciating at times. But your hand in mine, your strong arms around me, your whispered words of how powerful or beautiful I am are everything. Opening my eyes after a strong wave to see you smiling at me, it takes away my pain. Your fingers through my hair, putting your hands on my face, lightly rubbing my belly all remind me that with love as strong as ours I am unstoppable. I am not alone, because you are with me, even If you’re grossed out, even if you’re scared and feeling helpless. 

As we’ve been riding out this wild year (which is saying something after the adventures we’ve been on together over the past fifteen years), I know you’ve had some fears over our planned home birth. But the other night you said to me “My trust in you supersedes all my fears.” And that’s really all I need, your trust and your love.

Thank you for always loving and trusting me. For always supporting me and understanding my needs. Thank you for being the greatest partner I could ever ask for. And thank you for being such a wonderful father to all four of our children. 

I asked my partner “What would you tell a first time parent?
Parenting  a newborn is easy, if you’re prepared to push your biological boundaries to keep this thing, that is a part of you alive. Follow your instincts. 

And “What would you tell someone getting ready to watch their partner have baby for the first time?
It’s not that bad, she can do this, it’s just really gross. But this is what she’s built for. Trust her, trust how she feels, trust what she needs. Just trust her.